Inside
by Kalira69
Summary: Shiro doesn't smile the way he used to . . . because that smile isn't his any more. (Voltron Angst Week 2017, Day 1: Smile. Featuring Kuro.)


Written for Voltron Angst Week, Day 1: Smile.

* * *

A light touch slid over his right shoulder and Shiro jumped, nearly dropping the washcloth he'd held over his face. He lowered it and met Keith's eyes in the mirror with a questioning look.

Keith smiled slightly, crooked. "You don't smile like you used to." he said softly, hands sliding over Shiro's shoulders and then around his waist as Keith kissed the top of his right shoulder. A prickle went up Shiro's spine but he resisted the urge to shrug Keith off, even if he felt like he was worryingly too close to Shiro's Galra arm.

"I still smile." Shiro said, doing so as he twisted to look at Keith. His lover hugged a little closer to his back, and Shiro's smile faltered as Keith shook his head.

"Not the same _way_ you used to." Keith said, one arm looping over his shoulder and light fingers brushing near his mouth. "Not as wide as you used to. You always smile like this, and you used to. . . It's okay," Keith said, brows drawing together, "I don't expect everything to be the same, you know. I'm just sorry you don't smile so bright any more. I kind of hoped you might again . . . eventually."

 _"Why don't you tell him you're afraid of seeing_ _ **me**_ _?"_ Shiro's reflection asked, Shiro's small, close-mouthed smile splitting into a gleaming, befanged grin alarmingly close to Keith's slim, strong fingers. _"Of_ _ **inviting**_ _me?"  
_  
Shiro's throat closed up and he struggled to keep his own, smaller smile in place as he looked at his lover. "I'm sorry, it just. . . Doesn't feel right to." he explained vaguely. "I still feel happy," he promised, "just the expression is different."

Keith nodded, nuzzling Shiro's shoulder, right hand lightly stroking his chest. "As long as you're happy, love." he said softly, cuddling a little closer.

 _"Why_ _ **don't**_ _you, then?"_ Kuro asked, eyes sliding to Keith's hands and then back to meet Shiro's own gaze. _"You've told him so many things - even about the nightmares."_ Keith stepped away from him as Kuro spoke, quiet as he went about pulling on the rest of his clothes, dragging a brush through his hair. An everyday morning.

Kuro's rumbling voice lowered. _"Even,"_ he said, soft and sweet as a lover, _"about how it felt to fight, to kill - and so many. Even how you felt_ _ **good**_ _sometimes, doing it."_

Shiro's stomach turned. He _had_ trusted in Keith, told him those things, even when he hadn't meant to - Keith was _there_ , and he'd taken all of it, nodding solemnly and offering comfort and understanding. Never . . . judging Shiro for anything, or pushing him away as Shiro had feared he would - had half-thought he _should_. Only showing anger on Shiro's behalf, protective.

 _"Exactly. If he's so . . . perfect,"_ Kuro said with a smirk, _"why not tell him_ _ **everything**_ _? Even me."_

Shiro shook his head slightly. _No_. he thought desperately. _I can't. Not- Not that._

 _"He'd accept it,"_ Kuro said, almost carelessly, _"I've seen him, you remember. I see everything_ _ **you**_ _see . . . and he would take it, take_ _ **me**_ _. Gladly."_ Kuro's smirk widened, gleaming with deadly fangs.

 ** _No!_** Shiro denied, not sure what he was pushing at, trying to keep down, but feeling even sicker.

 _"So harsh!"_ Kuro said, tsking, as though surprised and disappointed. _"Is that for me, or is it for him?"  
_  
Shiro's fingertips _ached_ with how hard he was pressing them against the counter, but he couldn't uncurl his fingers. The metal ones, he realised, very distantly, were doing the same and might be denting or cracking the counter. He still couldn't stop. He was fully occupied trying to shut out Kuro's voice as it whispered coaxingly through his mind, soft and almost - _trying_ \- sweet.

 _"Not ready to watch him walk away? Not ready to see his face like_ _ **that**_ _?"_ Kuro dragged up some memory of someone watching Shiro, their lip curling in disgust, and forced the look onto Keith's face in his mind.

 _No_. Shiro thought firmly, struggling to keep himself silent in deference to Keith still being so close. _No, Keith would never do that._

 _"If you're so sure of it,"_ Kuro said, tilting his head to one side and giving an almost coy smile, _"then why won't you tell him about me? Didn't he swear to stand by you no matter what happens? Don't you_ _ **trust**_ _him?"_

 _Yes, I- That's not-_ _ **No**_ _, just get out!_ Shiro squeezed his eyes closed, fingers tightening on the edge of the counter.

 _"He's harder than you remember."_ Kuro said, his voice silky and dark, and Shiro heard flashes of memory, Kuro digging through his head. Keith saying they should leave a planet about to be overrun, abandon it. Keith saying he would have done anything necessary to get Shiro from the Garrison scientists - admitting he didn't know if any of them had died from the plan he had enacted. Keith saying the Galra-held prisoners they had gone in to rescue were too weak to save and they should leave them, or at best be merciful and kill them. _"Maybe you're afraid. Afraid he won't just_ _ **accept**_ _me, and that terrifies you enough - maybe you're afraid he'll like me_ _ **better**_ _."_

Shiro felt bile rise in his throat, and Kuro laughed, light and free. _"I am you but better,_ _ **Shiro**_ _, remember? Maybe you're afraid even your_ _ **lover**_ _will see that."_ he said slyly.

Shiro opened his eyes and glared at the gleaming gold pair shining out of his reflection. _I am_ _ **not**_ _afraid._ he thought harshly. _I won't expose_ _ **anyone**_ _to you!_

"Shiro?" Keith murmured, and Shiro's shoulders stiffened. "Come on babe, let's go to breakfast." He kissed Shiro's shoulder, just shy of his neck.

"Sure, coming." Shiro said stiffly, nodding, reaching vaguely for his shirt. Keith smiled at him in the mirror and slipped out of the bathroom. Shiro allowed himself a moment to cringe and bend double, heaving in a deep breath to try and fight down the nausea he felt without retching.

 _"Hide me away all you want, Shiro."_ Kuro said, and his fanged smile gleamed in the dark of the mirror as Shiro backed away. _"I'll always be here._ **Inside you.** "


End file.
